The Gig Is Up

Much to my chagrin, Siete actually reads my blogs.  As you can surmise, she was none too pleased with “Rose Colored Glasses”.  Needless to say, I am eating healthy again, exercising more and back on the wagon.  So if I seem a bit cranky; well, you now know why.

Given my recent lifestyle change, I have found that eating healthier isn’t really the issue.  Giving up beer, well that is another story.  In an effort to take my mind off my yearning desires, I decided to spend the weekend doing “honey dos”.  I spent numerous hours cleaning the garage, washing and waxing the cars and mowing the lawn.  Heck I even cleaned out the gutters and trimmed the trees.  I was being a good husband.  In the midst of my chores, I looked over at Siete and saw that was smiling from ear to ear.  The kind of a smile that showed her gratitude and appreciation for all the sacrifices I am making.  Thinking about it, it may have been the happiest I had seen her in quite some time.  However, true happiness is often times fleeting and when she found me passed out on the patio, beer in hand; her smile quickly vanished. 

I would like to make excuses for my transgressions, but as my Papaw always told me “son, excuses are like assholes, we all have one and they all stink”.  That said, I have no excuse.  No sir, I was thirsty, the beer fridge was full and I like beer.  As you can imagine, one beer lead to several and several, well that led to getting liquored up.  I do admit, it sure did make the work a whole lot more tolerable; but having the need to remove Siete’s foot from my ass, I probably should have thought otherwise.

Out of all this mess, I did learn a few things about myself…….one, I am an alcoholic.  A functioning alcoholic, but an alcoholic done the less.  I just can’t give up the beer.  But more importantly, I have come to realize that I am a much better “drunk” cook than I am a “sober” cook.  My wife is the issue, not me.  My family should be imbracing my vice, not discouraging it.  Ungrateful bastards. 

Giving up drinking, ain’t going happen.  Eating a little healthier, I may consider.  Here is my “twisted” crack at eating healthier:

BBQ Copper River Salmon

2 Copper River Salmon Filets*

1 T  The Gap Seasoning

¼ c  Out Back Beer B Que Sauce

2 cedar planks

Submerge cedar plank in salt water and soak for 2 hours. Remove any bones, rinse the salmon with cold water and pat dry. Generously season the salmon with The Gap Seasoning. Lay the salmon skin-side down on the cedar plank and spread a generous portion of Out Back on top.

Arrange charcoal for indirect grilling and heat to medium-high. Place the cedar plank in the center of the hot grate, but away from the heat. Cover the grill and cook for around 20 to 30 minutes or until the internal temperature should read 135 degrees F.  Transfer the salmon and plank to a platter and serve right off the plank.

* In my humble opinion, Copper River Salmon is the best wild salmon out there.  I typically buy the sockeye salmon because of its deep, rich flavor, but all Copper River Salmon varieties are flavorful and good.  Copper River Salmon is usually available from mid May through September.

 Twisted Epilogue:  Papaw was a wise man.  One of his most memorable sayings and one that I adhered to with my third and fifth marriages was “son, you can marry more in 30 minutes than you can ever make in a lifetime”.  However, what PaPaw forgot to tell me was “but son, they always get half”.  In my case, it was more like three quarters, but who is counting.

About TheTwistedEpicurean

Culinary BullSchit Artist View all posts by TheTwistedEpicurean

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