As I stated in “A Former Life”, there are many reasons why I will be heading south the day my maker comes calling. But should you need further evidence, here you go…..
As it goes with four kids, three dogs and a wife with an insatiable drinking habit, our schedule on the weekends is quite hectic and eating out can rarely be avoided. Often to the displeasure of those around us, our meals are typically filled with colorful conversation; oftentimes loud, typically inappropriate, but always entertaining. Take last weekend for example. Squid 3 (age 10) pipes in: “So dad, do you know why lesbians shop at Sports Authority.” “No, why?” “Because they don’t like Dick’s.” Laughter erupts and beer spit about and all eyes turn to our table. To my right, a good Christian family with a look of disgust. To my left, an old blue hair with a look of confusion. Of no concern to us, laughter continues.
After cleaning up beer spew, I got to thinking, “does Tres know what a lesbian is”? Not yet having had “the talk”, I asked, “Son, do you know what a lesbian is?” To which he responded, “no, what.” “Well, lesbians are girls who like other girls and they……” To which he blurts out, “Oh my god, you mean my mom is a lesbian?” …..Blue hair exits stage left.
12 new potatoes
¼ c basil
¼ c cilantro
¼ c flat-leaf parsley
1 jalapeno, seeded and chopped
¼ c purple onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 T crushed red pepper
½ c extra virgin olive oil
¼ c red wine vinegar
1 t sea salt
½ t black pepper
Preheat grill to 425 degrees F.
In food processor, purée basil, cilantro, parsley, jalapeno, onion, garlic, olive oil, and vinegar. Season with salt, pepper and set aside.
Slice potatoes 1/4 inch thick. Toss potatoes in olive oil and place on hot grill. Cook for 10 minutes and flip potatoes. Cook for another 10 minutes or until brown and crispy. Toss potatoes in chimichurri and serve warm.
Twisted Epilogue: I wish I could say this was untrue like most of my other bullschit I put out. But, truth prevails. Additionally, I never could figure out if the old bird was disappointed in the joke or just wasn’t sure what a lesbian was; either way, by god, funny is funny.