Sobriety Blows


“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink.  When they wake up in the morning, that is the best you are going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra

As we take our ride down memory lane, I can’t help but chuckle when thinking back to Squid Tres’ first day of vacation bible school.  And as luck would have it, it was Uno’s first time to teach VBS.

Good VBS teachers are hard to come by and those that are good, know the importance of understanding their pupils knowledge of the subject.  Good teachers will ask a few probing questions, get a little feedback and then steer the class accordingly.  Logical approach for Uno…….

“So, does anyone know what is in heaven?” Only one raises his hand and it happens to be mine.  In an attempt to avoid showing favoritism, Uno looks elsewhere.  “So Johnny, do you want to tell everyone what is in heaven?”  Crickets.  Tres still raising his hand feverishly.  “Little Susie, do you know what is in heaven?”  Chirp, chirp, chirp.  At this point Tres is about to schit himself, wanting desperately to wow the class with his vast understanding of biblical matters.  Not having any other takers, Uno turns to Tres and says, “Tres, would you like to share with the class what is in heaven?”  Beaming with confidence and the biggest schit eating grin on his face, Tres belts out, “Beer!”  Crickets.  Not letting the moment pass him by, he quickly busts out in his best Curly Howard (Three Stooges) impersonation, “How about a beer, surtaaaainly, yack, yack, yack, yack.”  Needless to say, I got an earful that evening.

With the mentoring I provide, my Squids have little chance in making much of themselves in this world.  But what I can assure you, they will live life to its fullest and they will rarely take much seriously.

King Ranch Casserole

2 rotessiorie chickens, shredded

2 t chili powder

1/4 t cumin

1/4 t Bayou Cajun Seasoning

1/4 c butter, melted

1/4 c flour

3 stalks celery, chopped

1 pablano pepper, diced

1 medium onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 can Rotel tomatoes, drained

1 c chicken broth

1/2 c cream

1/3 c sour cream

1/4 c cilantro

Salt and pepper to taste

12 white corn tortillas

3 c colby jack cheese, shredded

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In medium bowl, combine chicken, chili powder, cumin and Bayou.  Set aside.

In a large saute pan, add butter and flour, stirring constantly.  Once roux turns a light blonde, add onion, celery, pablano and saute for 3 to 4 minutes.  Add garlic and cook for 1 minute.  Add tomatoes, chicken broth, cream and cook until mixture thickens, approximately 10 to 15 minutes.    Remove from heat and stir in sour cream, cilantro, salt and pepper.

In a 9 x 13 inch casserole dish, spray pan with non-stick spray.  Ladle 1/4 cup of sauce in the bottom of the pan and layer half of the tortillas on top, making sure entire pan is covered.  Add 1/2 of the chicken, 1/2 of remaining sauce and 1/2 of the cheese.  Repeat layering, ending with cheese on top.  Cook uncovered for 30 minutes or until brown and bubbly on top.  Let rest for 5 to 10 minutes and serve.

Twisted Epilogue:  For the parent on the Sting soccer team who voiced her pleasure about my daughter getting hurt this weekend on the soccer field, I hope your uterus falls out!

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About TheTwistedEpicurean

Culinary BullSchit Artist View all posts by TheTwistedEpicurean

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