And Then There Was Four


“I don’t understand interventions.  What’s the point of being told you drink too much by a room full of reasons why you drink in the first place? – Author Unknown

There aren’t many places my family is welcome come Sunday, but one place we have been asked to never come back is Ken’s Pizza in Durant, Oklahoma.  If memory serves me correctly and as said before, often it does not, this particular Sunday we were driving back to Dallas after a long weekend at The Lake.  The boys were hungry and I had a hankering for pizza…..

Small town Oklahoma.  Church door opens, out walks Little Sally in her Sunday dress; behind her, Little Johnny in his Sunday best.  Good, God-fearing, Christian family celebrating the Lord’s day……and then there was the anti-Christ.

Like most small towns, Sunday eat’n is a big deal in Durant.  With little knowledge of the town, the only pizza joint I can find happens to be right next door to the First Baptist Church of Durant.  As we pull up, out of the church walks Little Sally, Little Johnny, mom, dad and Grandma Gene.  And as luck would have it, they choose the booth right next to ours…..

When a young boy gets his first boner, by God, its is something to get excited about.  In Squid Four’s defense, he was merely making an observation.  But what I nor any other unsuspecting patron were prepared for, was his enthusiasm to share his experience with the all.  Standing proud upon the booth, pants at his ankles, tinkle stick pointing northward, he turns to Uno and with great joy and exuberance proclaims, “Look, mom, my tally whacker is growing”.  As become customary, Little Sally’s mom didn’t find it quite as amusing as I.

Being The Twisted Epicurean, culinarily, I am not afraid of much.  Realizing some may not be so adventuresome, I ask for a little latitude and open-mindedness with this dish.

The Driskill

6 oz pizza dough

1 T cornmeal

1/4 c Out Back Beer B Que Sauce

6 oz mozzarella cheese, grated

1/2 shallot, julianned

3 stalks asparagus, grilled and rough chopped

5 cloves roasted garlic, see recipe

6 slices prosciutto

1 egg

Preheat oven to 500 degrees.

Sprinkle pizza peel with cornmeal.  Stretch pizza dough out to 10 to 12 inch oblong shape and place dough on peel.  Spoon beer b que sauce on dough and top with mozzarella, shallots, asparagus, roasted garlic and prosciutto.  Slide pizza onto hot pizza stone and cook for 2 minutes.  Slide oven rack out, crack egg open and place in the center of pizza  and cook for another 8 to 10 minutes.  Place pizza on a cutting board, slice and serve.

Twisted Epilogue:  This is my re-creation of an appetizer pizza we had at the famous Driskill Hotel in downtown Austin.  If ever in Austin and you like old, historic hotels with good grub; I recommend stopping by the Driskill Bar.  BTW Siete, “culinarily” is a made up word.  Oh, and do you ever wonder how planes fly?????

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About TheTwistedEpicurean

Culinary BullSchit Artist View all posts by TheTwistedEpicurean

2 responses to “And Then There Was Four

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