Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Last Supper

As a return to blogging, I must warn you, this one is weak…….

By now, most of you are aware there is urinal etiquette.  Male walks into an unoccupied restroom, his only urinal choice is to pick the furthest from the door.  Next male enters, his only choice is the urinal furthest from the occupied urinal.   So on and so forth (see Dave Barry’s Guide to Guys).  However, last night, while eating at a fancy steak joint, I encountered a new urinal conundrum, urinal hierarchy.  There were three urinals to choose from, and they were tiered.  Do I choose the one furthest from the door, which happens to be the tallest????  No, I don’t want people to think I am the big swinging “D”, which I am not.  Hell, I wasn’t even paying tonight.  Do I choose the furthest from the Grande???  No, then I might have an inferiority complex.  Do I pick the one in the middle????  Hell no, that will break the cardinal rule of urinal etiquette…..You can obviously see my conundrum.  So, being the indecisive person I am, ….turned around, walked through the main dining area, past our table, out the front door and relieved myself in the bushes next to the valet stand.  I have been “encouraged” not to come back.

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