Tag Archives: Bacon

The Last Supper

As a return to blogging, I must warn you, this one is weak…….

By now, most of you are aware there is urinal etiquette.  Male walks into an unoccupied restroom, his only urinal choice is to pick the furthest from the door.  Next male enters, his only choice is the urinal furthest from the occupied urinal.   So on and so forth (see Dave Barry’s Guide to Guys).  However, last night, while eating at a fancy steak joint, I encountered a new urinal conundrum, urinal hierarchy.  There were three urinals to choose from, and they were tiered.  Do I choose the one furthest from the door, which happens to be the tallest????  No, I don’t want people to think I am the big swinging “D”, which I am not.  Hell, I wasn’t even paying tonight.  Do I choose the furthest from the Grande???  No, then I might have an inferiority complex.  Do I pick the one in the middle????  Hell no, that will break the cardinal rule of urinal etiquette…..You can obviously see my conundrum.  So, being the indecisive person I am, ….turned around, walked through the main dining area, past our table, out the front door and relieved myself in the bushes next to the valet stand.  I have been “encouraged” not to come back.

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It’s Like Butter……..

Creamed corn…..need I say more.  As much as I love potatoes, corn is definitely a close second.  Add a little cream, a healthy portion of pork belly and a smattering of japs, and this my friend is Good Schit!

Creamed Corn

5  ears fresh corn

2  yellow onions

½ lb thick country bacon cut in lardoons

1  jalapeno, seeded and diced

½ c  heavy cream

2 T  butter

¼ c cilantro, chopped

3  cloves garlic

1  bay leaf

Salt and Pepper to Taste

With a sharp knife or cobber, remove the kernels for the corn cob and set aside.  Take the de-kernelled cobs and place them in a large sauce pan with 2 quarts of water.  Add 2 whole cloves of garlic, 1 onion quartered, 1 bay leaf and bring to a boil.  Reduce the heat and allow liquid to reduce by half.  Strain and reserve, keeping stock warm.

While corn stock is reducing, place bacon pieces in a large sauté pan, over medium heat, rendering the fat and browning the pieces, stirring as needed.  When fully cooked, remove bacon from the pan with a slotted spoon, leaving the rendered fat in the pan.  Add remaining onion (diced), jalapeno and sauté until translucent, about 2 to 3 minutes.  Add garlic (minced) and sauté for 1 minute.  Add reserved corn kernels and pinch of salt and cook for 2 more minutes.  Next add two ladles of corn stock, allowing the liquid to reduce before adding another ladle.  Continue to simmer for about 15 to 20 minutes adding corn stock as needed, until corn is fully cooked.  Just before serving, add cream, butter and bacon, simmering for another 3 minutes.  Add cilantro and serve.

 


Seasonal Wood

As the dog days of summer come to a close and fall is ushered in, a sense of delight and excitement has come over me.  Hot, oppressive days have been replaced by cool, crisp mornings.  Say what you will, but autumn is a magical time and seems to make my trousers feel kinda funny. 

If you are like me, there is no better way to spend an afternoon than with friends and family watching football, drinking beer and munching on a few nibblets.  The old game time standby amongst my family would have to be a big bowl of Rotel; however, from time to time, a seven layer dip or a vat of guacamole will tied us over.  That said, what I am about to share with you may change the rules a bit.

If you have not tried any of the Schitbird sauces or seasoning blends, then shame on you.  If you have, you know that I love me some “spicesty”.  One of my favorite fiery culinary treats is the stuff jalapeno.  As with most things I do, I like to go full throttle with my japs.  With the help of a little Hell Bitch Cajun Seasoning, some Mexican chorizo and of course a little pork fat, these poppers will make your lips go “Ump, Bop, Bop”.

Bad Ass Jalapeno Poppers

24   jalapeno peppers

¼ lb smoked gouda, grated

¼ lb Monterey jack, grated

½ lb. ground Mexican chorizo

¼ c  red onion, chopped

1   egg

½ c  cream cheese, softened

3 T  sour cream

1 t   Hell Bitch Cajun Seasoning

 24 slices bacon

 Brown chorizo in skillet over medium-high heat.  Drain and let cool.  Once cooled, combine chorizo, cheese, red onion, egg, cream cheese, sour cream and Hell Bitch Cajun Seasoning.  Make a slit down the middle of the pepper lengthwise and remove seeds.  Stuff cheese mixture in middle of pepper, wrap with bacon and secure with a toothpick.  Grill over medium heat for 15 to 20 minutes.

To make stuffing the peppers easier, place cheese mixture in a large plastic Ziploc bag, cut one end and use it like a piping bag.

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Religious Pilgrimage

Before you turn and run, I ask for a little latitude on this subject.  I know religion may give many of you tired head.  Heck it gives me tired head too.  And I know you don’t typically talk about religion in a food blog.  But religion is something that is a part of most God fearing individuals.  Different from person to person, religion is a product of our upbringing; it is a symbol of our heritage.  It’s a definition of who we are and what we believe.  Be it Arabs or be it Jews or be it Christians, at one time or another, most true believers journey to Mecca in order to achieve religious enlightenment and pay homage to their creator. 

 For me, as with most other Texas males, our religious pilgrimage tends to stray a bit off course and begins as summer draws to a close.  Thousands upon thousands of Texans travel from far and near to seek out the familiarities of their homeland and pay homage to their god.  No I am not talking about high school football, although a religious experience in its own right.  I am talking about the opening of Dove Season.  That’s right, the day boys become men and men become boys.  A day where no matter your age, race, color or creed, men come together to eradicate those menacing little bastards we call dove. 

 Even after all the years of attempting to totally destroy my cerebral cortex, I still can remember the joy and excitement of my first dove hunt.  Dogs running to and fro, #8 lead shot peppering your face and hands, rattle snakes waiting in the tall scrub to strike at whatever comes near.  If that ain’t heaven, I don’t know what is.

As with every good pilgrimage, a great celebration should always conclude a long journey.  As tradition goes, evening dove hunts are the precursor to an evening dove feast.  Meat, meat and more meat.  Which leads me to this Texas favorite.  The following recipe can be used for most any type of game bird, be it duck, quail or schitbird.  Although I have an affinity for schitbird, hands down, dove is where I pay my homage.

For more recipes, sauces and/or seasonings, please visit us at www.schitbird.com

Dove Poppers with Jalapeno Cream Sauce

Ingredients:

10 Dove

10 slices bacon

1 jalapeno (julienned)

1 onion (julienned)

4 oz cream cheese

4 T  Otis & Oskie Wild Game Seasoning

½ c Red Ass Beer B Que Sauce

1 bottle Italian Dressing

10 toothpicks

1 c Jalapeno Cream Dipping Sauce (recipe below)

Preparation:

Preheat grill to 400 degrees.

Pour Italian Dressing in plastic bag and marinate dove breasts for 30 to 60 minutes.  Once the Schitbirds are done marinating, season with Otis & Oskie Wild Game Seasoning.  Then take one slice of jalapeno, one slice of onion and pinch of cream cheese and place it inside the breast meat.  Wrap bacon around dove, veggies and cream cheese and stick a toothpick through everything to hold it together.  Repeat the process for all ten birds.

Place dove on preheated grill and cook 3 to 4 minutes per side, while basting with Red Ass Beer B Que as you turn.

Jalapeno Cream Dipping Sauce

Ingredients:

¼ c heavy cream

¼ c sour cream

½ Jalapeno, seeded and diced

¼ purple onion, diced

3 T grated Parmesan Cheese

Preparation:

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and whip until cream becomes the consistency you desire.  Serve on side for dipping.


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