Tag Archives: Chicken

Turphucken

Thanksgiving has unexpectedly appeared in my rear view mirror.  And like most Thanksgivings of late, memories of ’09 suddenly come to mind.  That year, I volunteered to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the entire family.  And like the dumb ass that I am, I decided it was the perfect time to try something new!

Being a fan of all things Cajun, I had always wanted to try my hands at the infamous Turducken…..you know, a chicken, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey…..coonass engineering at its finest.  Now, I am sure for the true Cajun, cooking a Turducken is just another day on the bayou.  But, for an over weight, drunken, city boy like myself, a “turphucken” (as I now call it) is a proverbial ass whip’n.

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Sobriety Blows

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink.  When they wake up in the morning, that is the best you are going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra

As we take our ride down memory lane, I can’t help but chuckle when thinking back to Squid Tres’ first day of vacation bible school.  And as luck would have it, it was Uno’s first time to teach VBS.

Good VBS teachers are hard to come by and those that are good, know the importance of understanding their pupils knowledge of the subject.  Good teachers will ask a few probing questions, get a little feedback and then steer the class accordingly.  Logical approach for Uno…….

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Pure Insanity

Being serious is for grownups, which I am far from.  No, I prefer to be a man of leisure.  A life envied by most and achieved by few.  I only drink the finest of wines (Strawberry Hill), drive the fastest cars (1972 Suburban) and travel the world abound (went to the international grocery store just the other day).

But in all seriousness, I must take this opportunity to brag on my Siete.  For those who do not know Siete, she is a giver; a person who goes out of her way to make sure others are taken care of.  With four kids, three dogs and a selfish bastard for a husband, this is quite a challenge and rarely does she have time to do something for herself.

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Exceptions To The Rule

Unless it is to avoid traffic or shave a few minutes off a long road trip (kids in tow of course), I am not typically a fan of shortcuts; especially when it comes to my cooking.  But between running kids to and from school, back and forth to various soccer, football and baseball practices and whatever other activities those little bastards can’t do without, there are exceptions to this rule. 

Being  under employed and an inquisitive foodie, I often find myself milling about my local Skaggs, observing the latest culinary trends and searching for my next inspiration.  Though this activity tends to be  more about the passing of time than the discovery of my next culinary masterpiece, from time to time, I do come across something that peaks my interest.  One particular day not so long ago, I passed by the deli counter and observed the infamous rotisserie chicken contraption.  Like you, I have seen those infomercials where for 4 easy payments of $89.99, you too can be the proud owner of a Roto 10,000.  Touted as an exceptional culinary device, this austonishing machine can not only cook a full meal for 4 in under 20 seconds, but it can teach your kids Algebra and make your whites brighter than ever before.  Wow, I will have four please.

Being the Nancy Negative that I am, how possibly could a overcooked, sunburned bird be any good, right??????  However, as it happened to be this particular day, my schedule was packed and I needed a quick meal.  “Give me two fine sir”.  Much to my amazement, when I got those bad boys home, they were not only juicy and flavorful; but at $4.99 per apiece, they were a damn good bargain.  Now, I am no math whiz, but sounds like to me the makers of the Roto 10,000 are selling me a bill of goods.

The recipe that follows is a perennial favorite come winter time.  It is something that can be made for a quick weeknight meal or simmered low and slow on a cold, lazy Sunday afternoon.  The longer it simmers the better it gets, but the recipe below will get you started.  You can adjust the cooking time based on your schedule.

El Jeffe’s Tortilla Soup

1T  vegetable oil

1  28 oz can of diced tomatoes

1  15.5 oz can white hominy, drained

1  medium white onion, diced

1  small packet Sazon seasoning*

1  jalapeno, seeded and diced

4  garlic cloves, diced

1  chipotle pepper in adobo sauce, diced

1t adobo sauce

2  bay leaves

¼ c  cilantro, chopped

2  32 oz boxes Swasons Chicken Broth

1  rotisserie chicken, shredded

Garnishments:  sour cream, cilantro, Monterey Jack cheese, avocado, purple onion

In a large stock pot, heat oil over medium-high.  Add chopped onions and jalapeno, sautéing for 3 minutes.  Add tomatoes, garlic, chipotle and adobo sauce, sautéing for another 5 to 7 minutes.  Once the juice from the tomatoes has evaporated, add chicken broth, bay leaves, hominy and cilantro.  Bring ingredients to a boil and reduce heat to medium.  Simmer for approximately 30 minutes, adding more chicken broth, beer or water if needed.  Just prior to serving, add the chicken.  Garnish with cilantro, Monterey Jack cheese, sour cream, avocado and/or purple onion.

Sazon is a mexican soup seasoning made by Goya.  There are several different flavor combinations.  I use the one with corriander and annatto.


Good O’ Day Syndrome

There are very few movies that stand the test of time….It’s a Wonderful Life, Smokey and the Bandit, Braveheart and my perennial favorite, Lonesome Dove.   On occasion, the wife and I will bust out an old favorite and subject our squids to a little “forced family fun”.  More often than not, the wife and I find the movie every bit as entertaining as it was the first time we saw it; on the other hand, the kids can’t seem to stop bitching and complaining because the movie isn’t “kick ass” enough to hold their attention.  As much as I hate to admit it, by today’s standards, the little bastards are probably right and if we are honest with ourselves, the misses and I are probably just reliving the glory days.  As true as it may be, give me Caddy Shack or Raising Arizona any day over Hangover or 40 Year Old Virgin.

Much like movies, I have found that family recipes also have a very short shelf life.  Most that get passed down from generation to generation can’t hold up to the “kick ass” recipes of today.  However, on occasion, there will be one family jewel that is timeless.  Though I use “family” somewhat loosely for I am unsure of the recipes origin, South of the Border Fettuccine has long been a family tradition in our household.  Like most recipes that have been handed down (see the blog entry “To Make Amends”), I have taken the liberty to bastardize it a bit and call it my own.  It is simple, it is good and aside from a few candy asses I know, I have yet to find anyone who doesn’t enjoy this perennial favorite.

South of the Border Fettuccine

14.5 oz can chopped tomatoes

15.5 oz can black beans

16 oz box of dried fettuccine

2t Yard Bird Seasoning

2T  butter

2  garlic cloves, minced

1  medium jalapeno, seeded & minced

1/4c  cilantro, chopped

4 oz sherry cooking wine

4 oz chicken stock

2 chicken breasts

Preheat grill to 400 degrees, season chicken with Yard Bird Poultry Seasoning and grill chicken for about 3 minutes per side.  Place chicken on plate and allow to rest.  Please note, chicken will not be cooked all the way through, but will finish cooking when added to the sauce at the end. 

While chicken is resting, place water in a large stock pot and bring to a boil.  Cook fettuccine according to the box directions.

While chicken is resting and the pasta water is coming to a boil, preheat a large sauté pan over medium-high heat.  Add butter and jalapenos and sauté for 3 minutes.  While jalapenos are sautéing, pour tomatoes and black beans into a colander and rinsed thoroughly.  Once rinsed, add tomato/black bean mixture to pan and sauté for another 3 to 4 minutes.  Add garlic, ¼ cup of the cilantro and continue sautéing.   After an additional 2 minutes of sautéing, deglaze the pan with sherry, add chicken stock and simmer for an additional 4 to 5 minutes.  While the ingredients are simmering, chop chicken and add to the sauce.   Once chicken is cooked all the way through (approximately 2 to 3 minutes), serve over cooked fettuccine noodles.

Please note, for those who are short on time, store bought rotisserie chicken is a good substitute for grilled chicken.

For more “kick ass” recipes and accoutrements, visits us at www.schitbird.com.


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