Tag Archives: Food Blog

Religious Pilgrimage

Before you turn and run, I ask for a little latitude on this subject.  I know religion may give many of you tired head.  Heck it gives me tired head too.  And I know you don’t typically talk about religion in a food blog.  But religion is something that is a part of most God fearing individuals.  Different from person to person, religion is a product of our upbringing; it is a symbol of our heritage.  It’s a definition of who we are and what we believe.  Be it Arabs or be it Jews or be it Christians, at one time or another, most true believers journey to Mecca in order to achieve religious enlightenment and pay homage to their creator. 

 For me, as with most other Texas males, our religious pilgrimage tends to stray a bit off course and begins as summer draws to a close.  Thousands upon thousands of Texans travel from far and near to seek out the familiarities of their homeland and pay homage to their god.  No I am not talking about high school football, although a religious experience in its own right.  I am talking about the opening of Dove Season.  That’s right, the day boys become men and men become boys.  A day where no matter your age, race, color or creed, men come together to eradicate those menacing little bastards we call dove. 

 Even after all the years of attempting to totally destroy my cerebral cortex, I still can remember the joy and excitement of my first dove hunt.  Dogs running to and fro, #8 lead shot peppering your face and hands, rattle snakes waiting in the tall scrub to strike at whatever comes near.  If that ain’t heaven, I don’t know what is.

As with every good pilgrimage, a great celebration should always conclude a long journey.  As tradition goes, evening dove hunts are the precursor to an evening dove feast.  Meat, meat and more meat.  Which leads me to this Texas favorite.  The following recipe can be used for most any type of game bird, be it duck, quail or schitbird.  Although I have an affinity for schitbird, hands down, dove is where I pay my homage.

For more recipes, sauces and/or seasonings, please visit us at www.schitbird.com

Dove Poppers with Jalapeno Cream Sauce


10 Dove

10 slices bacon

1 jalapeno (julienned)

1 onion (julienned)

4 oz cream cheese

4 T  Otis & Oskie Wild Game Seasoning

½ c Red Ass Beer B Que Sauce

1 bottle Italian Dressing

10 toothpicks

1 c Jalapeno Cream Dipping Sauce (recipe below)


Preheat grill to 400 degrees.

Pour Italian Dressing in plastic bag and marinate dove breasts for 30 to 60 minutes.  Once the Schitbirds are done marinating, season with Otis & Oskie Wild Game Seasoning.  Then take one slice of jalapeno, one slice of onion and pinch of cream cheese and place it inside the breast meat.  Wrap bacon around dove, veggies and cream cheese and stick a toothpick through everything to hold it together.  Repeat the process for all ten birds.

Place dove on preheated grill and cook 3 to 4 minutes per side, while basting with Red Ass Beer B Que as you turn.

Jalapeno Cream Dipping Sauce


¼ c heavy cream

¼ c sour cream

½ Jalapeno, seeded and diced

¼ purple onion, diced

3 T grated Parmesan Cheese


Combine all ingredients in a bowl and whip until cream becomes the consistency you desire.  Serve on side for dipping.

Hatch Queso Blanco

Ahhh the end of summer.  Don’t get me wrong, I truly enjoy summer.  Wake boarding on the weekends, hanging out and drinking by the pool, summer vacations to exotic beach destinations.  However, by the time August rolls around, enough is enough.  The constant bantering and fighting amongst the kids and the oppressive hot August days has worn this Honkey out.  Put a fork in me because I am done.  But wait, maybe better days are just around the bend.  Soon, school will be starting and the kids will be out of the house.  The heat will be replaced by crisp autumn mornings and the smell of ducks will soon be in the air.  Maybe life can be good again. 

Before I put away all the beach towels, air mattresses and floating coolers, I do have one last summer indulgence.  The Hatch Chile Festival.  That’s right, every year during the last part of August, Central Market has their annual Hatch Chile Festival (check out the link at www.schitbird.com).   An event that truly mystifies the senses.  If you have not attended, I highly recommend it to all. 

In an effort to break the summer doldrums, I recently ventured down to my local Central Market (on weekday of course, because I hate people) and picked up a mess of chiles.  Though primarily the Hatch variety, I did pick up some other intriguing peppers that would compliment future creations.  Which leads me to the following.  The recipe below is by no means difficult.  As with many of my creations, simplicity is more times than not, key to heightened enjoyment.  Simplicity allows the ingredients to shine and simplicity allows for more drinking time and more drinking time makes Jack a happy boy.  So have a kocktail, roast some chiles and enjoy this heart clogging (and possibly colon clogging) delight:

Hatch Queso Blanco


4 oz shredded Monterey Jack cheese

4 oz shredded Chihuahua cheese

4 oz shredded Asadero cheese

1 Hatch chile (roasted, peeled & julienned)

½ cup chorizo

1 tsp chopped cilantro


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In a small, 8” cast iron skillet, cook chorizo until it’s done, about 4 to 5 minutes.  Drain most of the grease, but leave a thin layer of goodness on the bottom of the pan.  Add cheese, top with crumbled chorizo, Hatch chiles and bake for 15 minutes or until cheese begins to bubble.  Prior to serving, sprinkle top with cilantro.

Although best served on a warm tortilla, warm corn chips are an alternative way to enjoy this fantastic dish.

Note:  Because of their thick skins, Hatch chiles should be roasted prior to eating.  Although there are many ways to roast chiles, my favorite is over hot charcoal.  Here are the most common methods of roasting:

Grill outdoors until skin is slightly chard and blistering

Roasting under a broiler until skins blister (approx. 7-8 minutes, turning occasionally)

On stovetop using a cast iron pan on high heat (approx. 10 minutes, turning occasionally)

Once chiles are done roasting, immediately place them in a paper or plastic bag, seal it and allow them to rest for 15 minutes.  After resting, rub off chard skin, remove stem/seeds and enjoy.

For more culinary jewels like this, please visit us at www.schitbird.com

Virgin Run

I must confess, this is my virgin run as a blogger.  And prior to starting, I must ask for your forgiveness.  More than likely, my blog will ramble at times and more than likely, I will get bogged down in the minutia of my bullSchit (marketing opportunity, I couldn’t it pass up).  Rest assured, despite my lack of understanding of the English language, the end result of this blog will be nothing less than informative, will be slightly entertaining and an on occasion or two, may be a bit controversial. 

I start by giving you some insight into who I am.  See,”I am an alcoholic”.  Not a raging alcoholic, but what I like to call a “functioning” alcoholic.  Please understand, as with most weak minded individuals, alcoholism is a disease and isn’t my fault.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame my job (of which I have no job) and no, it is not the fault of some unfortunate event in my life, for I have led a pretty blessed life.  The fault lies in the fact that I like to DRINK!  When I say I like to drink, I mean I like to DRINK!  Be it drinking in the duck blind while watching Schitbirds fall from the sky or preparing an evening meal for the fam, a beverage in hand makes all things a little more enjoyable.  So sit back, relax and have a beer with me. 

Hence forth, I would like to be known as “The Twisted Epicurean” and as stated in the previous paragraph, I have no job.  I had a great job.  One that I enjoyed thoroughly; however, as with many in today’s economic environment, I have found myself without a means of income.  I won’t lie, in the beginning, unemployment was a bit concerning.  Mouths to feed, mortgages to pay and an incessant drinking habit, what’s a under educated white boy suppose to do?  Seriously, unemployment hurt my brain.  However, one day recently, I had an epiphany.  As with all my great ideas, a vast consumption of booze heighten my mental awareness.  Unemployment doesn’t have to be a curse, the likes of being unemployed can be a blessing in disguise.  Now, before you say “bullSchit”, I must digress and explain my upbringing.  Thanks to my familial role models, I was taught to live within my means.  Save, save, save.  And after relinquishing my first wife from her spousal duties, I was able to implement that strategy to my fullest capability.  Don’t get me wrong, I am no Rockefeller or Buffet, but I have stashed away enough to allow time for self reflection and a little self indulgence.  Although my perspective may be a bit skewed from most indigents, alcohol and lack of obligation has allowed me to realize my true calling…..a Culinary BullSchit Artist.  Think of me as a cross between Bobby Flay and Ron White, good cook, heavy drinker and on occasion pfuck’n funny.  So sit back, have a beer and let’s get this ride started.

For more levity and culinary insight, please visit me at www.schitbird.com.


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