Tag Archives: Pork

Tidings and Joy

I am somewhat at a loss for words right now, which poses a problem for someone who wishes to earn a meager living selling spices and writing a food blog.  One might say that I have more give up in me than Lindsey Lohan has after three shots of Patron.  But, as I have also been told before………duty is such a cruel master, so here it be:

I hate shopping.  I hate Christmas shopping even more.  Rude people; angry shoppers; teenage, punk-ass kids…..it is a wonder why I don’t enjoy it more.  But,because not everything can yet be purchased online, I do have to venture down to our local mall on occasion.

Different than in years past, this year I devised a plan.  A plan that was simple, yet clever:  Go into a store, grab a gift, belly up to a bar.  Have a couple of beers, go down to Victoria Secrets, find something sexy and revealing for Siete, muster up enough courage to ask the young, hot checkout girl to model it for me to make sure it fits and then find another bar.  The process was to be repeated until I had crossed everything off my list.  Perfect plan!  Right…..right.

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Charlotte’s Web

For some odd reason, I have had a lot of nicknames growing up. As a young pup, my nickname was Bucket, something to do with my uncanny ability to crap bucketfuls…..then in my adolescent years there was Todd the Turd, something to do with my uncanny ability to be a turd most of the time……and then after my first divorce, there was Todd the As……well maybe we should just stop there.

Although most nicknames have come and gone, one nickname has suck, Ten Pig Todd. Several years ago while being dropped off at a blind during our annual spring turkey hunt, we came up upon a bunch of wild pigs devouring deer corn underneath a feeder. Upon scurrying away, one of our buddies said, “If those sumbitches come back, you shoot every damn one of them”. Unfortunately for them, they came back and hence TPT.

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Mistaken Identity

There are not a lot of good things going on in Mexico these days; however, not so long ago, that wasn’t necessarily the case. 

One of my fondest memories of Mexico comes from a Spring Break trip we took while at A&M.  Unbeknownst to my parents, a group of college buddies and I decided that our unwavering dedication to higher education warranted a break.  Countless hours pounding the books and pounding the beer had taken its toll on us mentally and physically.  Our overall well-being was definitely in question.  Without a little relief, god only knows what errant path we might choose. 

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Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma’am

If I haven’t said this before, it is high time that I do………”If you put goat cheese on a turd, there is a good chance I am going to eat it”.  As odd and unappetizing as that may sound, it is true.  Yes, goat cheese is my epicurean crutch.  The creaminess and tanginess goat cheese brings to a dish is unmatched.  If you are a virgin to goat cheese, be a virgin no more.

God did not grace me in the nether regions, nor give me a crap load of cash; but what he did give me was an uncanny ability to cook.  Given that Siete can burn water, we were a match made in heaven.  This recipe certainly wooed Siete and is sure to give you the entry key into any man or women’s boudoir.

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