Pure Insanity

Being serious is for grownups, which I am far from.  No, I prefer to be a man of leisure.  A life envied by most and achieved by few.  I only drink the finest of wines (Strawberry Hill), drive the fastest cars (1972 Suburban) and travel the world abound (went to the international grocery store just the other day).

But in all seriousness, I must take this opportunity to brag on my Siete.  For those who do not know Siete, she is a giver; a person who goes out of her way to make sure others are taken care of.  With four kids, three dogs and a selfish bastard for a husband, this is quite a challenge and rarely does she have time to do something for herself.

Maui Waui

Grilling season is here in Texas and what better way to kick it off than a bar-b-que with friends.  In Texas, the carnage of choice is beef, steak in particular.  However, currently being under-employed, I am not willing to spend my whole government check on booze and beef; unless of course, I am the primary consumer.  Spam Burgers and Strawberry Hill sound more appropriate for our situation.  

Given Siete’s delicate pallete and her dislike of strawberry wine, Spam and Boones ain’t gonna fly.  But there is one Twisted favorite that is fairly inexpensive and quite tasty………..Hawaiian Chicken.  Served atop a sweet, Hawaiian dinner roll, with a little mango salsa and a cold beer, this Twisted treat will definitely keep our bar-b-que crowd sassisified. 

Hawaiian Chicken

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1 12 oz bottle Hawaiian Marinade (Lawry’s or Kroger Brand)

1 package King’s Hawaiian Rolls, split and toasted

Mango Salsa, recipe follows
 

Put chicken breast between two pieces of wax paper and pound chicken until it is 1/4″ to 1/2″ inch thick.  Once pounded, cut chicken into 3 or 4 pieces (just slightly larger than the rolls).  Place chicken in 1 gallon Ziploc bag, pour in marinade and refrigerate for at least 2 hours (the longer, the better).  

Preheat grill to 400 degrees F.  Place marinated chicken on a platter and set aside.  Take the remaining marinade from the Ziploc bag, put into a small sauce pan and bring to a boil.  Boil for 1 minute and remove from heat.  Next, place chicken on hot grill and cook 4 to 6 minutes per side or until done.  Baste chicken periodically with reserve marinade while grilling.

 Mango Salsa

1 mango, diced

2 T apple cider vinegar

1 jalapeno, seeded and diced

1 T sugar

1/4 c purple onion, diced

1/4 c cilantro, chopped

For the salsa, combine all ingredients in a Ziploc container and refrigerate for 1 to 2 hours. 

Twisted Epilogue:  In the words of Sheriff Buford T. Justice “We’re Gaining on Them”.  If you know someone who will enjoy this blog, please pass it on.  For your convenience, we now have share icons at the bottom of every post.

The Hangover

Lies, tales and offenses are hard to come by today, so this blog will be short and to the point. 

Fat Tuesday is behind us, so there is definitely a need for a hangover cure.  Growing up, Jo Bob’s Butter and Onion Sandwich was the only cure we Lake Trash dare speak of.  Fresh white bread, a glob of butter and a large slice of yellow onion, honey hush……….As strange as it may sound, bread, butter and onion can cure many things, including encephalitis.

Regardless of the effectiveness, few that I have encountered are brave enough to try JB’s secret.  So for those who are not so adventuresome, here is the next best thing…….for those of you who really tied one on last night, maybe you should try both!  It sure can’t hurt.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

12 ounces tomato juice

2 oz vodka

4 dashes Tabasco

2 dash Worcestershire

½ t prepared horseradish

1 t olive juice

Pinch celery salt

Pinch black pepper

Pinch Mack seasoning

Ice

Lime wedge, celery stalk and olives, for garnish

Combine all ingredients and enjoy.

Twisted Epilogue:  Feedback is good, orders are better.  If you have tried one of our recipes, let us know what you think.  If you like are stuff, please order some for you and a friend.  Times are slow and baby needs a new pair of shoes.